romanticism & resignation
ADVICE COLUMN DAY: we're in the thick of scorpio season and you are ALL in a bad way
an update for you: the tech bro I talked about last time ghosted me. I’ve moved on to a farm boy who likes mid-2000s electronic music. sincerely, lost in the java
OK I love a returning customer with an update. It’s probably for the best, Lost, because the alternative would have been an NFT-themed wedding and who even could imagine what that would entail (I can’t STOP imagining it). No comment on the mid-aughts electronica farm boy. I’m in awe of you. May you go far.
how do i balance the fact that i need to be my own person whose happiness doesn't depend on others and the fact that i'm a libra venus and operate solely on hopeless romanticism - whore-scope
Good news! These are not mutually exclusive conditions. Being a hopeless romantic has far less to do with “other people” and more to do with what kind of person you are. In many ways, admitting to being one shows a pretty solid understanding of one’s self and emotional state. Also, I just googled what it means to be a libra venus (for those who didn’t: “gracious, social, outgoing, generous, and funny” ok im in love with you now??) and those characteristics do NOT sound like someone with no control over their own happiness. Embrace your soft parts; they are authentic and don’t make you weaker.
I'm trying to figure out how to tell my crush I like them without telling them that I like them. How should I proceed? I was thinking of making them a playlist with some very obvious themes of love and devotion. Thoughts?
These will go one of two ways. You’re going to make them a playlist and they’re going to be like “cool” and nothing will happen. OR you’re going to make them a playlist and they’re going to be like “omg this person is in love with me, they’re obsessed with me.” And when you have a predilection to the second way, you tend to talk yourself out of the assumption that everyone is in love with you. Basically, TL;DR: no playlists. You should probably just tell them (LOL) or try to make them jealous and see what happens (don’t do this)(but update me if you do).
DEAR ARDENTLY, I AM 23 YEARS OLD AND I DO NOT KNOW TO DO MY HAIR. EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND AGONIZE OVER WHAT TO DO. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HAVE A ROUTINE BY NOW. A STANDARD GO-TO HAIRSTYLE. BUT I DONT. I IMPROVISE EVERYDAY. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SINCERELY, A HAIRY SITUATION
First of all, stop yelling at me? I’m sensitive. Secondly, my hair only does one (1) thing and fortunately (for me, not for you obviously), it does it at an acceptable standard so I am not really the best person to ask for intricate hair advice. I know everything. Except this one thing. That being said, I’m sure among the millions of hair influencers on youtube and instagram there may be one suited to your needs.
How do you parallel park -Haley
The other day I spent about 15 minutes pretending to parallel park until the car in front of me left and then I just pulled into their spot. Worker smarter, not harder.
SHOULD I QUIT MY JOB? I used to love my boss and now we have a terrible guy in charge and I hate it. I'm being paid the same and asked to do more work. But quitting seems...hard and scary
Honestly YES. But also you need to have some sort of plan first. The thing about a terrible job is that it’s not going to get better; your tolerance for shittiness is just going to get higher. And eventually it will be so high actually that you’ll be eyeballs deep in the shit and you won’t even know it. Leave if you can! But first lay the groundwork to be able to leave and still feel secure.
I want to be a big ol girls-gone-wild-slut-of-the-year-award-winner but when I try to hook up with strangers my body shuts down and I longer feel sexy and have to kick them out. Feels like this is some fear and some inherited trauma from my deeply sexually repressed and damaged relatives (too dark to get into).. Cool! So I either need to keep making myself hook up with randoms until I get better at it (but embarrass myself all along the way) or accept that I was never meant for this lifestyle and I should just find a long term partner I can get comfortable with ??? Would love just a zap of electroshock therapy tbh.. - yours truly, maybe Anita Bryant was right.
Speaking of Anita Bryant:
I love some situational irony. Dear Maybe, you have done something that my ex-therapist annoyingly refers to as intellectualizing your feelings. You don’t need to dissect “why” you can’t realize your desires to do girls-gone-wild; you need to maybe ask yourself what you actually want. Being a super-slut is supposed to be fun so if you’re not having fun, why do you want to do it? Luckily for you, the solution isn’t a binary. You don’t have to choose between randoms and pursuing the love/lay of your life. You could try dating around a little bit until you understand the boundaries of what you’re OK with and what you absolutely don’t want. And if that means you decide you want to have sex with as many nameless people as you possibly can? Go forth and conquer. But if it’s finding a long-term partner? That is also o-kay (it’s not even cringe, I promise). You should be comfortable with what you are doing either way and — not to be an annoying therapist-adjacent but— that comfort has to come from you and not the type of partner you’re with. (Also DM me so I can do a card reading for your situation :* if u want to…)