Just to shake things up a bit, I solicited some questions from my friends/followers on Twitter so I could do a bit of advice giving. Many of you delivered. Many of you need to be psychologically evaluated. Here are a few:
I did a tarot card reading for fun for my friend the other night and long story short she is making some questionable decisions based on the reading i did and interpreted for her. Like some big major life decisions. And ofc i feel hella guilty because I am the one who did the reading. but I didn't know she was going to react the way she did. Did i break my friend? How do i fix this?
There is a sort of ancient practice in the pseudo-psychic arts that if you don’t like what the cards say, you simply shuffle them and re-do the reading. Your friend liked what the cards said because they told her to do what she wanted to be doing in the first place. You and your reading are merely the conduit for these unspoken desires.
I want to go out with this dude but he’s a startup tech bro. should I cut my losses now or try it out? sincerely, lost in the java
I want you to name a career a man can have that is not annoying. If you have thought of one, I want you to think a little bit harder. Dating is hell and no person ever seems worth it in the beginning. If they do seem worth it in the beginning then you may be forging false intimacy which is a red flag (look within). Proceed forward with caution. Inevitably, when he utters the word “user testing” mid-hookup, you can abandon ship.
how do i stop myself from wanting to die whenever im vulnerable with my friends, asking for the me - just a dude
Some of my strongest relationships are with people with whom I’ve trauma bonded, which is not to say healthy. But the truth is that opening up to anyone is always deeply embarrassing, but much like a flawed protagonist in a movie, it makes you all the more dimensional and likable. Embrace it. Live it. Love it. Laugh it.
How do I find Love In The Time of Cholera (Corona)? Please please don't say the apps
It will be a cold day in hell when I endorse the apps. Unfortunately, I do not know because my life is more of a dark comedy than a romantic comedy. Do you have a hot coworker or a mysterious friend of a friend you can openly pine for? Have you considered opening a small bookshop in direct competition with a larger bookstore chain while sustaining a pretty regular email correspondence with them? Have you considered being on opposite cheer squads at a cheerleading competition? Many options. Or you could try the apps.
SHOULD I GO TO GRAD SCHOOL???????????
NO!!!!!! If you’re dying to burn cash, treat yourself to a trip to Europe or a Peloton or something. I’ve always wanted to see Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh.
this is not a juicy question or anything but i think im bored of my relationship but i don’t really want to break up because i cant imagine "doing better" if that makes any sense. i just feel like a terrible person.
Brrrrrr. You might need to do some introspection about why you’re bored in your relationship and if being with your partner is worth trying to fix that however you can. Otherwise, they “can do better” than someone who isn’t into them. It’s way worse to stick around because “nothing better has come along” because what if one day it does? Then you’re going to jump ship after leading them on forever? Now, that would make you a terrible person.
My friend is sick and thinks she is married to my wife. How do I disillusion her of this without institutionalizing her? - Concerned Friend
Please stop texting my wife.
I don’t know when I’m doing the next one, but if you have questions and you would like me to publicly air out, submit them here.