THE NAUGHTY OR NICE LIST
For ONCE my boobs look normal in this turtleneck I’m wearing, and Christmas is in a few days… meaning we need to utilize that combination for some holiday content. I do not promise to be partial, fair, or correct in the following list but maybe you’re not here for a culture lesson.
Here is the blondemezz dot substack dot com NAUGHTY OR NICE list of 2021:
~ NICE ~
The 400-meter long container ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal in March, a story that united the world for six days of harmony and finally gave me and my dad something to talk about on the phone for a couple days
Jesse Armstrong and Mark Mylod for delivering us the season 3 finale of Succession and making my cold, dead heart feel something
my stupid cats who are beautiful and evil
The person who uncovered Timothee Chalamet’s old YouTube channel where he modded Xbox 360 controllers, showing us that really anyone can give you chlamydia
Wellbutrin 200 mg because she’s that girl
The band ABBA for releasing new music and saying that Eurovision is embarrassing now (now???)
The gust of wind that killed Prince Phillip
Anyone who laughs when I say “Jizz-lane Maxwell”
Game nights with charcuterie boards and I’m not JUST saying that because I’m going to one later this week
» NAUGHTY «
The women who gatekeep the cool vintage gold mirrors from me on f*cebook marketplace (by asking for me to pay too much for them)
Hinge, the app designed to be deleted because it’s so ass
Any celebrity who got cancelled this year (I genuinely suddenly cannot remember the name of a single celebrity randomly?)
The Omicron variant which kind of goes without saying
My idiot kitten who is beautiful and evil
Every person who keeps making me learn stuff about NFTs against my will
Any man this year who has coyly asked me to do an astrology sign interpretation for him
American imperialism
People who make me listen to them talk about keto
Whatever the fuck this is