poems one through twelve
Having a solid sense of self is really hard when, like, the powers that conspire against me (my responsibilities and obligations) always have me asking “am I doing things wrong?” I keep reveling in the awe of being so unattached to anything in my life right now. I almost find myself yearning for a great sense of urgency to do something. And while my mother loves doing that thing where she makes tick-tock noises to reference my biological clock, I can’t find myself caring.
So I’m brainstorming and you’re coming along with me as I try to think of things I could achieve that will fill this void:
Get really into mixology and make that my personality so much that other people are like “we should invite her to stuff she’s a mixologist” except actually never mind because that sounds like another job
Start practicing the instruments I picked up in high school but never practiced enough to get really good
Write a book (lol)
Start another podcastMake a big deal out of saving money for a big purchase and then making that purchase
Finish my current podcast (lmao)
Go off the social media grid for like a month and devote that energy to opening my third eye (go back to having a normal attention span)— or should I just try to get an add3rall prescription
Reinvent myself in some big way… wait but…. do i like myself… do i not want to completely erase who i am currently… makes you think….
Restart my duolingo streak in Italian (except I think I’d have to find a better way to incentivize it because I fell off from understimulation).
Read a lot of booksRead all the new books I bought in the last year but never touched
I don’t know, I feel like I need to think bigger. Wait, am I a coward?