Work has slowed down considerably so I am back to keeping tabs open about white paper industry standards and python stack overflow while scrolling on my phone (aggravating my texting thumb). I’m not complaining; this is the ideal way to have a job. I’m sure when I’m up to my eyeballs again in post-holiday work, I will look back on this time fondly.
I’ve been filling up my calendar to avoid the suffocating feeling of the passage of time during the evenings. It’s getting darker faster and that bastard daylight savings is not helping. Maybe I need to embrace the darkness—whatever that means. My social battery has been through the ringer these last couple months, so much so that I’m starting to crave solitude again. Maybe I will take a few days this week to be a hermit. Being a disturbing and off-putting woman is a lot of backbreaking work. It’s not easy being A Lot. And sometimes it is not even rewarding.
The end of the year is rapidly approaching and with it comes the typical agonies. I’m forced to reckon with what I have to show for another year around the sun and the dastardly question of if I am happy with it. The answer is a secret that will not be revealed to me until much much later. Life is funny that way.
xx.